I came to a conclusion that for the past 28 years, I’ve been trying too hard to “fit in”! I’ve been doing everything “the right” way, just that it was never really the right way for me… So in reality, I was working against myself. This whole time… For almost three decades I’ve been trying to “box” myself and be something that has never been “me”!
I always had this tiny little voice, my own inner voice telling me what it wants and how I should do things, react, act… But I have rarely listened to it. Most of the time I’ve been either ignoring it or make it quiet. Guess what? Did I fit in, after all of my hard efforts to do so? Nope! Was I happy while trying to fit in and always missing out in doing so? Nope! Was the final outcome what I wanted it to be? Nope!
The answer was always no and the only time when I did feel good and alive was when very rarely I did listen to that little voice inside of me and did things “my way” or have been myself. The people I was surrounded with would then point it out as me being “weird” or not doing things the right way. They would get upset for that one moment seeing a different person than the one that they’ve been used to having around, would get confused and of course I would take it as something really bad and personal… I would think that : “There you go when you try to NOT fit in and when you don’t alter yourself to other people’s wishes and expectations.” Then I would just go back into trying to fit into all sorts of boxes that weren’t mine… Filling the boots that weren’t mine to walk in.
Do you know when I did become happier, more fulfilled and inspired? Only a few months ago, when reached that final, rock bottom of realisation when I truly didn’t know who I was. For a moment I stood in front of the mirror and I simply didn’t know whom I was looking at? Who was this woman that was staring back at me? What are her dreams? What are her wishes? What are her thoughts?
I was always afraid to voice my real opinion, my real dreams and wishes because I already “knew” that because they’re not the most common or usual ones, people won’t approve of me and I won’t be able to fit in. If I’m not fitting in, I won’t be socially accepted and it’s better to alter myself and do fit in… WRONG!
I could have saved myself so much time, so many problems and wrongly traveled roads if I would have let myself just to BE who I am, who I was supposed to be all of this time.
Now… Now I’m unapologetically myself, every single day and I’m blooming of happiness and proudness for being who I am, for not being ashamed of anything that makes me – ME and for living the life the only way I ever want to live it – saying what I really feel, think, see… Not something that people expect me to say or think. Now… Now there are finally people in my life that accept me and love me for who I really am, there’re no wrong or right things to do or say in front of them. There is just me, in all of the beauty of my true character and guess what? I have never accepted or loved myself more than I do now, because now, for the first time ever I am finally at peace with myself. I’m free!
This is something that I can wholeheartedly suggest to all of my readers. We were all born to walk this Earth in our own way in our unique pair of boots, so don’t try to trade your road and boots trying to fit in and walk the ones that were never meant for you… Walk your road in your own boots with your head up high, confident and trusting that even the roads less traveled are the ones worth travelling, esp. if they’re your own ones… They’re worth that extra effort for choosing to be true to YOURSELF!
Much love to all of you! Take care sweet people!
I’m wearing: Shoes,bracelet and vest – Asos, Bag – Celine, Jeans – Tiger of Sweden, Blouse – Mango, Earrings – House of Harlow 1960
45 Comments
You are so charming and fashion
Constance Stokes MissyDresShop
Great post! And I love your outfit!
xx
Mademoiselle Coconath
https://mllecoconath.com
Such an inspirational post : ) I’m happy I read it, thanks a lot and congratulations, because I know that the way to accept oneself is long and hard, but it is the only way ; )
LaMelenaDeLeón
It is so great that you understand the value of being true oneself and that you are spreading the message! Lovely outfit as well.
Avanti
xxx
avantigarde.wordpress.com
This post is beautifully written, Natali. It’s beginning made me so sad, and I would have loved to give you a hug, tell you, all will be fine. Reading on, I see that all is well for you now. And I am happy again.
I love that top and little gilet. So cute. Hugs
To je to! Nema stavljanja u kalup niti prilagođavanja situaciji jer je tako jednostavnije, to je apsolutno najgore što si osoba može napraviti i baš mi je drago čuti da si uspjela rješiti sve sama sa sobom i da sad možeš uživati u onome što jesi, sto posto bez ustručavanja! 🙂 Ja sam oduvijek gurala svoj film, često me koštalo svega i svačega, ali vjeruj mi da sve to ne bi mijenjala za neki dosadni kalup. Bože, samo to ne. 😀
Your post made me tear up… You’re so right! I do exactly feel the same, for years I tried to fit in but now I am just myself and I couldn’t be happier! The thing I wanted to do most is going vegan but I always thought it wouldn’t be accepted. I was so wrong!
I love this outfit!! That vest! Those shoes! So amazing. I know what you mean, the older I get, the more okay I am with me just the way I am. It seems like it is part of the growing up process to get more comfortable with yourself and stop trying so hard.
Amy Ann
Straight A Style
I always think of this quote when I feel like I am not fitting in but want to, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” and I feel like you are the epitome of that! Girl you were born to ROCK your awesome self!
The Adored Life
You have no idea how much I love this post. I’ve been struggling with these issues myself — questioning whether I truly know who I am as a person and wondering if I should even try to fit in.
Here in Chicago it seems like the norm to fit in. It feels weird not to an yet at the same time, everytime I’ve tried to fit in and just be like “the other girls”, I always end up lonely and depressed because I’m not letting who I am inside LIVE.
So thank you for writing this and making me feel less alone. It’s so hard to be an individual sometimes — we need to stick together!
Xoxo,
Ashley || Sed Bona
Great post! So Inspiring and true!
Jill
Jill D Blog
Love love love this post!!! And you look gorgeous! So in love with that bag!!
<3 Shannon
Upbeat Soles
You have a great attitude in your pictures. love the Ethnic print jacket
https://dreaminloud.com
love this outfits! And you’re so slim! 😀
Daniel x
The Daniel Originals | Instagram: danielpoonvignez
New Post: Coachella inspired look
Really love your shoes!
You’re so pretty, i really like your look, you’re always so chic! kiss
Federica – Cosa Mi Metto???
divne riječi, stvarno odlično napisano. Mislim da je najveći promašaj kod toga pokušaja uklapanja to što na taj način nikada i ne možemo ostvariti pravo prijateljstvo a time gubimo najdublje iskustvo koje možemo imati i podijeliti na ovome svijetu…kako bi mogli doista biti prijatelji s nekim koga i ne poznajemo i tko ne poznaje nas? Ljudi tako provedu cijelu život kriveći druge za svoju nesreću i to se pretvara u neki grozni krug stalnoga optuživanja (takvih primjera nažalost ima i previše) i takvi ljudi ne shvaćaju da je prava istina da su sami sebi oduzeli tu šansu za sreću.
Paradoksalno, ali tek kada nam prestane biti bitno kako nas ljudi vide, onda pronađemo ljude koji nas doista vide i razumiju. Život je takav! Teško je othrvati se toj potrebi za prilagođavanjem drugima jer se zapravo radi o jednom kompleksnom evolucijskom mehanizmu, pa smo svi zapravo na neki način psihološki prilagođeni pokušaju uklapanja u društvo. Dosta sam razmišljala na ovu temu, Joyce je rekao nešto u stilu da je društvo mreža iz koje nitko ne bježi, ali uvijek postoji način ako imam volje.
Na kraju krajeva, ne trebamo se ničega bojati. Nismo nikakvi sociopati ako mislimo svojom glavom i nećemo nikoga zaista povrijediti izabiranjem bivanja onoga što bi trebali biti.
Kombinacija mi se strašno sviđa, pogotovo taj prsluk…pravi boho chic!
Your outfit is magazine worthy! Love it 🙂
Mischelle
https://www.nowthatschic.com
Great post! Love your outfit, especially the blouse & bag! -xo
https://rxyroads.weebly.com/blog/montauroux-lac-du-saint-cassien
Love everything you wrote here. It’s so important to just be yourself to be truly happy ☺
Nati xx
http://www.simplyartdicted.com
Um, I don’t know what I’m loving more — that awesome vest, that gorgeous bag, or those rad shoes!
Fab look!
xx
Jen
https://www.belledecouture.com/2016/04/2-easy-summer-hairstyles-with-garnier.html
Cute outfit! Love the vest 🙂
Agnes x
BlvckBee.Com
Always better to be you. Glad you found that out. Have a great day!
Jako mi se dopada što imas minimalno šminke na licu! Preslatka si i svaka čast na posvećenosti blogu i dobrom tekstu! :*
https://ourfashionworlds.blogspot.rs/
You look so chic and sophisticated! Very refreshing!!
https://lartoffashion.com
I love this look.
DadieB. ~
dadiebradshaw.altervista.org
those shoes and that bag are fabulous!!
XO JNESS
: JenessaSheffield.com
You are wonderful, inspiring, adorable the way you are, Natali…I only know you from the internet but I have the feeling you are very sensitive and deep and also the kind of person I’d love to get to know better, cause she has so many interesting thoughts and also a past that made her who she is now ! I am glad you are going ahead in your journey that leads to personal happiness, I have also always tried to fit in and never fully succeeded…I am now proud of my differences and I no longer try as hard to be accepted. Kisses
Fashion and Cookies – fashion & beauty blog
PS I almost forgot: you look so beautiful in this look, it has a touch of ethnic chic hasn’t it ? The vest is awesome and so are the mules. You are a beautiful princess 🙂
Fashion and Cookies – fashion & beauty blog
This is sooo true. I think that at some time we all try to fit in with what people expect of us but we should really be ourselves much more, although diplomacy is a great thing too. Great post and great outfit. xoxoxo
https://www.toksblog.com/
Great post, you have a very nice blog! 😀
Visit my blog? xx Miss Beatrix (https://missbeatrix.blogspot.com)
Vidiš, po komentarima se može “isčitati” da uistinu možeš i znaš inspirirati ljude na pravi način. Bravo! Bravo za post i bravo za tvoje veliko postignuće. Mislim da je malo onih koji nikada nisu bili u tvojim cipelama i da , barem u jednoj fazi naših života, poželimo biti netko dugi i ići protiv sebe. Ne znam od kuda nam ta tendencija ali da je dobra, nije. U zadnjih par godina, i sama sam okrenula novi i svjei list i nije me briga (toliko) što će tko reći i misliti pogotovo o stvarno banalnimstvarima poput odjeće i slično… Stvar je u tome što ja stvarno volim različitost kod ljudi… veseli me razgovarati (ne svađati se već razgovarati) s osobom koja je npr. sasvim svjetonazorski drugačija od mene… mislim da se samo na taj način možemo obogatiti na pravi način i biti sretni! Stoga, samo naprijed!
Kombica je prekrasna… taj prsluk i cipke koje su mi ko’ klompice… ma nešto prekrasno! Uživala sam i sve mi žao što nema koja fotka više! 🙂
Girl, honestly, you are so gorgeous!
This look is absolutely PERFECT!
XO.
http://www.itswhatsin.com
Great advice and pretty outfit!
https://memoriesofthepacific.blogspot.com.es/
absolutely great bag 🙂
vzkaz mému mladšímu já
You look beautiful!! Love this outfit & the red lip color goes well with it! Wish I owned that bag <3
Kisses!
International giveaway on my blog-
https://www.rakhshanda-chamberofbeauty.com
Beautiful look! 🙂
I love your great vest a lot! ♥♥♥
XX,
Photography & Fashion Blog
CHRISTINA KEY
http://www.CHRISTINAKEY.com
♥
¡Me encanta el outfit que has elegido! El efecto de las fotos es ideal. ¡Un post muy chic!
¡Échale un vistazo a mi blog!
https://kingzlewhitehall.wordpress.com
I love your mini celine!
xx Angie | https://www.thefashionfuse.com/
So beautiful, love the look, very boho. Really like the photos 🙂
https://banging.pt
Sooo Pretty:)
_________________________________
Kisses from https://www.ivoryinspo.com/
You look so cute!! This post is perfect!
Xoxo
Serein
https://sereinwu.com/
This style is so cute, love the aztec coat so much <3
xoxo, Best Bags 2016
Real is rare, Natali, stay true to you.