Not sure why but lately I’ve found myself telling some of my friends that they are “such a lucky” people. I have also heard from my friends and acquaintances saying how they think that I am the lucky person, leading a great life.
Many times I would just express my gratitude for such words and kind thoughts, but my inner voice would at the same time have a good laughter and think:”Me lucky? Yeah right, if you would only know all of my troubles, you wouldn’t think of me as a lucky one.”
I’m a girl which never takes a break… I will always keep on going at all costs. Heck, sometimes I don’t even take a break to cry and have a proper “breakdown” moment, but I deal with everything on the go or by swiping it “under the carpet” until I can, at some point, deal with it.
I just ride, ride and ride, I succeed, I fail, I get disappointed or I get proud, about myself or about people which I encounter… But I feel that I never take a proper moment to just “be” and process everything that’s happened, good or bad, people which I’ve met, etc.
That’s how I feel like about my daughter… We are one heart in two bodies. Ever since she was born, my world has completely changed and has never been the same. Each day, esp. since she has grown up a bit and is away at kindergarten or at a playdate, I feel that half of my heart is “gone” with her. Whenever she’s hurt or sad, I feel it double as she does… If she’s happy and smiling, I’m double as happy as she is.
I feel like this world is the most beautiful place ever each time I see her sunlike wide smile and diamond spark in her eyes shine the beauty and pureness of her soul from the inside. Becoming a mom, I didn’t take it as something that makes me somewhat better, smarter or more important than any other woman around, but being a mom def. has thought me so much about life, feelings, worries, etc. more than any other “role” in this life could. Children are our biggest teachers and they always speak the truth, no matter if we like to hear it or not. As much as I like to hear my daughter tell me how she thinks that I’m the best mom ever and that she hopes to become like me someday, I also don’t like to hear when she complains at times that I work so much and we haven’t managed to play a board game we were supposed to play 2 days ago. If anybody can quickly shake me up and make me rethink my daily life, habits, choices and “forces me” to get my time management and scheduling in order, then it’s her.
She also thought me, or should I say has reminded me to see the world through child’s eyes more often… Something that I can pass by many times on daily basis and not see it’s beauty, she will spot it immediately and see so much in perhaps, so little… Taking a moment to really “look up” and around yourself just the way that she does, made me remember what’s the core of life… To see beauty everywhere, to be happy about everything and anything. As long as we’re breathing, as long as we’re jumping in the muddy puddles, as long as we’re enjoying the sun that’s shining while laying in the park on the freshly grown green grass, as long as we stuff our faces in ice cream cones and laugh together, as long as we hold onto those precious little moments that make life so special, we’ll forget about any worries we might’ve had.
Life can be so simple, so real and so good, only if we change the way we see things and how we act or react to what happens to us on daily basis.
They say that a woman has always been a woman and she will forever be a woman, but mother, mother has been born when the child is born… The moment that birth cord has been cut, one heart has been split in two newborn bodies, one body of a child and another one of a mother. None of them existed up until that moment. That is so true! I have and always will be a woman, the one that loves unconditionally, the one that is silly, the one that is vulnerable and strong at the same time… The one that is bit crazy and different but has pure heart and a soul that hold so much inside… The one that wants to inspire and help, the one that wants to go out with her friends and have fun… But I’m also a mother… Something I never thought I’d be, something I have never been even imagining what it feels or looks like to be a mother. I’m a mother that I hope my daughter will be proud of someday and will look up to me when she decides to give birth to two bodies of one heart…
Happy Mother’s Day to me and to every single beautiful mom that I know in real or this “virtual” world!
Have a good Monday everybody!
I’m wearing: Sneakers – New Balance, Jeans – Tiger of Sweden, Sweater – Max Mara, Kimono – Asos, Bag & bracelet – Balenciaga, Sunglasses – Chloe
