Perfection? Why the heck didn’t I realised SOONER that such thing does not exist and that trying to chase it and become it will only take you to the darkest places, tear your soul apart and make you completely loose the sight of what matters and what’s real?!
I have turned 28 years old today and I can honestly say that for the past 20 years of my life I’ve been working hard to become perfect at everything and anything. There’s nothing and I really mean nothing in this past 20 years of my life that I’ve done half way. I have either done it as perfectly as I could or I haven’t done it at all, but that part of me doing things and being as perfect as I could was the stupidest waste of time. I see now that I could have learned some lessons earlier and easier. I guess that I like to take the harder, more challenging routes… Ones where I need to open numerous doors in order to learn my lessons.
Then again… While chasing perfection, I can proudly say that I have done so many things so well and have been brilliant in them considering my age, situations and positions in life that I’ve been facing/ going through in the past 20 years. I remember that up until not long time ago, I used to take every loss, every step backwards SO seriously and so close to my heart that I was loosing sleep at night and have “zombied” through most of my days overthinking about the things that didn’t go right or that I could have done more perfectly.
I have stretched myself to the thinnest lines in order to be everything to everybody and to always impress myself and everybody around me with my “perfection”! I’ve done all of this just to realise that I AM and HAVE BEEN absolutely perfect and special human being by just being myself and that I had and do have so many great qualities and talents that make me irreplaceable, just like any of us do and just like any of us are irreplaceable. Otherwise, we wouldn’t have been sent to this life and world unless each and every one of us was sent here to affect, to do things, to change the world even in the smallest but still remarkable way.
It took me a long time to understand that by just making a person next to you smile, by wishing them a good day or by just being kind with them is already much more than any illusional, perfection possessed robot could ever give. You don’t have to go far and beyond in order to EARN the love of your family, friends, husbands, boyfriends… You just need to be you, the best version you can, but NOT a perfectionist driven monster because PERFECTION=EGO and you can not love with your ego but with your heart.
HAPPY 28TH BIRTHDAY to myself! The only thing that I wish to myself for this birthday is that I live from this moment onwards free of any chains of too high expectations from myself, from life, from others and enjoy in every given moment appreciating all that I am, people around me and what life has, is and will give me in the future. Life is beautiful! Let’s set ourselves free and START living it! 🙂
LOVE YOU MY DEAR READERS!!! You mean a lot to me, thank you for the endless support!
I’m wearing: Coat – By Malene Birger, Scarf – Kenzo, Bag – Chloe, Shoes – Marc By Marc Jacobs, Jeans – Tiger of Sweden, Blouse – Massimo Dutti, Sweater – Zara, Bracelets – JCrew, Earrings – Chanel, Ring – House of Harlow 1960