I came to a conclusion that for the past 28 years, I’ve been trying too hard to “fit in”! I’ve been doing everything “the right” way, just that it was never really the right way for me… So in reality, I was working against myself. This whole time… For almost three decades I’ve been trying to “box” myself and be something that has never been “me”!
I always had this tiny little voice, my own inner voice telling me what it wants and how I should do things, react, act… But I have rarely listened to it. Most of the time I’ve been either ignoring it or make it quiet. Guess what? Did I fit in, after all of my hard efforts to do so? Nope! Was I happy while trying to fit in and always missing out in doing so? Nope! Was the final outcome what I wanted it to be? Nope!
The answer was always no and the only time when I did feel good and alive was when very rarely I did listen to that little voice inside of me and did things “my way” or have been myself. The people I was surrounded with would then point it out as me being “weird” or not doing things the right way. They would get upset for that one moment seeing a different person than the one that they’ve been used to having around, would get confused and of course I would take it as something really bad and personal… I would think that : “There you go when you try to NOT fit in and when you don’t alter yourself to other people’s wishes and expectations.” Then I would just go back into trying to fit into all sorts of boxes that weren’t mine… Filling the boots that weren’t mine to walk in.
Do you know when I did become happier, more fulfilled and inspired? Only a few months ago, when reached that final, rock bottom of realisation when I truly didn’t know who I was. For a moment I stood in front of the mirror and I simply didn’t know whom I was looking at? Who was this woman that was staring back at me? What are her dreams? What are her wishes? What are her thoughts?
I was always afraid to voice my real opinion, my real dreams and wishes because I already “knew” that because they’re not the most common or usual ones, people won’t approve of me and I won’t be able to fit in. If I’m not fitting in, I won’t be socially accepted and it’s better to alter myself and do fit in… WRONG!
I could have saved myself so much time, so many problems and wrongly traveled roads if I would have let myself just to BE who I am, who I was supposed to be all of this time.
Now… Now I’m unapologetically myself, every single day and I’m blooming of happiness and proudness for being who I am, for not being ashamed of anything that makes me – ME and for living the life the only way I ever want to live it – saying what I really feel, think, see… Not something that people expect me to say or think. Now… Now there are finally people in my life that accept me and love me for who I really am, there’re no wrong or right things to do or say in front of them. There is just me, in all of the beauty of my true character and guess what? I have never accepted or loved myself more than I do now, because now, for the first time ever I am finally at peace with myself. I’m free!
This is something that I can wholeheartedly suggest to all of my readers. We were all born to walk this Earth in our own way in our unique pair of boots, so don’t try to trade your road and boots trying to fit in and walk the ones that were never meant for you… Walk your road in your own boots with your head up high, confident and trusting that even the roads less traveled are the ones worth travelling, esp. if they’re your own ones… They’re worth that extra effort for choosing to be true to YOURSELF!
Much love to all of you! Take care sweet people!
I’m wearing: Shoes,bracelet and vest – Asos, Bag – Celine, Jeans – Tiger of Sweden, Blouse – Mango, Earrings – House of Harlow 1960
