Lifestyle, My Work, Outfits

Not fitting in

April 25, 2016

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I came to a conclusion that for the past 28 years, I’ve been trying too hard to “fit in”! I’ve been doing everything “the right” way, just that it was never really the right way for me… So in reality, I was working against myself. This whole time… For almost three decades I’ve been trying to “box” myself and be something that has never been “me”!

I always had this tiny little voice, my own inner voice telling me what it wants and how I should do things, react, act… But I have rarely listened to it. Most of the time I’ve been either ignoring it or make it quiet. Guess what? Did I fit in, after all of my hard efforts to do so? Nope! Was I happy while trying to fit in and always missing out in doing so? Nope! Was the final outcome what I wanted it to be? Nope!

The answer was always no and the only time when I did feel good and alive was when very rarely I did listen to that little voice inside of me and did things “my way” or have been myself. The people I was surrounded with would then point it out as me being “weird” or not doing things the right way. They would get upset for that one moment seeing a different person than the one that they’ve been used to having around, would get confused and of course I would take it as something really bad and personal… I would think that : “There you go when you try to NOT fit in and when you don’t alter yourself to other people’s wishes and expectations.” Then I would just go back into trying to fit into all sorts of boxes that weren’t mine… Filling the boots that weren’t mine to walk in.

Do you know when I did become happier, more fulfilled and inspired? Only a few months ago, when reached that final, rock bottom of realisation when I truly didn’t know who I was. For a moment I stood in front of the mirror and I simply didn’t know whom I was looking at? Who was this woman that was staring back at me? What are her dreams? What are her wishes? What are her thoughts?

I was always afraid to voice my real opinion, my real dreams and wishes because I already “knew” that because they’re not the most common or usual ones, people won’t approve of me and I won’t be able to fit in. If I’m not fitting in, I won’t be socially accepted and it’s better to alter myself and do fit in… WRONG!

I could have saved myself so much time, so many problems and wrongly traveled roads if I would have let myself just to BE who I am, who I was supposed to be all of this time.

Now… Now I’m unapologetically myself, every single day and I’m blooming of happiness and proudness for being who I am, for not being ashamed of anything that makes me – ME and for living the life the only way I ever want to live it – saying what I really feel, think, see… Not something that people expect me to say or think. Now… Now there are finally people in my life that accept me and love me for who I really am, there’re no wrong or right things to do or say in front of them. There is just me, in all of the beauty of my true character and guess what? I have never accepted or loved myself more than I do now, because now, for the first time ever I am finally at peace with myself. I’m free!

This is something that I can wholeheartedly suggest to all of my readers. We were all born to walk this Earth in our own way in our unique pair of boots, so don’t try to trade your road and boots trying to fit in and walk the ones that were never meant for you… Walk your road in your own boots with your head up high, confident and trusting that even the roads less traveled are the ones worth travelling, esp. if they’re your own ones… They’re worth that extra effort for choosing to be true to YOURSELF!

Much love to all of you! Take care sweet people!

I’m wearing: Shoes,bracelet and vest – Asos, Bag – Celine, Jeans – Tiger of Sweden, Blouse – Mango, Earrings – House of Harlow 1960

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45 Comments

  • Reply Constance Stokes April 25, 2016 at 8:32 AM

    You are so charming and fashion

    Constance Stokes MissyDresShop

  • Reply Mademoiselle Coconath April 25, 2016 at 8:59 AM

    Great post! And I love your outfit!
    xx
    Mademoiselle Coconath
    https://mllecoconath.com

  • Reply Helena April 25, 2016 at 9:04 AM

    Such an inspirational post : ) I’m happy I read it, thanks a lot and congratulations, because I know that the way to accept oneself is long and hard, but it is the only way ; )
    LaMelenaDeLeón

  • Reply Avanti April 25, 2016 at 9:14 AM

    It is so great that you understand the value of being true oneself and that you are spreading the message! Lovely outfit as well.

    Avanti
    xxx
    avantigarde.wordpress.com

  • Reply Jo April 25, 2016 at 10:07 AM

    This post is beautifully written, Natali. It’s beginning made me so sad, and I would have loved to give you a hug, tell you, all will be fine. Reading on, I see that all is well for you now. And I am happy again.
    I love that top and little gilet. So cute. Hugs

  • Reply Matea April 25, 2016 at 1:11 PM

    To je to! Nema stavljanja u kalup niti prilagođavanja situaciji jer je tako jednostavnije, to je apsolutno najgore što si osoba može napraviti i baš mi je drago čuti da si uspjela rješiti sve sama sa sobom i da sad možeš uživati u onome što jesi, sto posto bez ustručavanja! 🙂 Ja sam oduvijek gurala svoj film, često me koštalo svega i svačega, ali vjeruj mi da sve to ne bi mijenjala za neki dosadni kalup. Bože, samo to ne. 😀

  • Reply Jacqueline April 25, 2016 at 2:14 PM

    Your post made me tear up… You’re so right! I do exactly feel the same, for years I tried to fit in but now I am just myself and I couldn’t be happier! The thing I wanted to do most is going vegan but I always thought it wouldn’t be accepted. I was so wrong!

  • Reply Amy Arnold April 25, 2016 at 3:10 PM

    I love this outfit!! That vest! Those shoes! So amazing. I know what you mean, the older I get, the more okay I am with me just the way I am. It seems like it is part of the growing up process to get more comfortable with yourself and stop trying so hard.

    Amy Ann
    Straight A Style

  • Reply Alissa April 25, 2016 at 3:36 PM

    I always think of this quote when I feel like I am not fitting in but want to, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” and I feel like you are the epitome of that! Girl you were born to ROCK your awesome self!

    The Adored Life

  • Reply Ashley April 25, 2016 at 3:49 PM

    You have no idea how much I love this post. I’ve been struggling with these issues myself — questioning whether I truly know who I am as a person and wondering if I should even try to fit in.

    Here in Chicago it seems like the norm to fit in. It feels weird not to an yet at the same time, everytime I’ve tried to fit in and just be like “the other girls”, I always end up lonely and depressed because I’m not letting who I am inside LIVE.

    So thank you for writing this and making me feel less alone. It’s so hard to be an individual sometimes — we need to stick together!

    Xoxo,

    Ashley || Sed Bona

  • Reply Jill April 25, 2016 at 4:05 PM

    Great post! So Inspiring and true!
    Jill
    Jill D Blog

  • Reply Shannon April 25, 2016 at 4:45 PM

    Love love love this post!!! And you look gorgeous! So in love with that bag!!

    <3 Shannon
    Upbeat Soles

  • Reply Surekha @dreamingloud April 25, 2016 at 5:08 PM

    You have a great attitude in your pictures. love the Ethnic print jacket

    https://dreaminloud.com

  • Reply Daniel April 25, 2016 at 5:52 PM

    love this outfits! And you’re so slim! 😀

    Daniel x
    The Daniel Originals | Instagram: danielpoonvignez
    New Post: Coachella inspired look

  • Reply Flora April 25, 2016 at 5:53 PM

    Really love your shoes!

  • Reply Federica Spinelli April 25, 2016 at 6:21 PM

    You’re so pretty, i really like your look, you’re always so chic! kiss
    Federica – Cosa Mi Metto???

  • Reply ivana split April 25, 2016 at 6:31 PM

    divne riječi, stvarno odlično napisano. Mislim da je najveći promašaj kod toga pokušaja uklapanja to što na taj način nikada i ne možemo ostvariti pravo prijateljstvo a time gubimo najdublje iskustvo koje možemo imati i podijeliti na ovome svijetu…kako bi mogli doista biti prijatelji s nekim koga i ne poznajemo i tko ne poznaje nas? Ljudi tako provedu cijelu život kriveći druge za svoju nesreću i to se pretvara u neki grozni krug stalnoga optuživanja (takvih primjera nažalost ima i previše) i takvi ljudi ne shvaćaju da je prava istina da su sami sebi oduzeli tu šansu za sreću.

    Paradoksalno, ali tek kada nam prestane biti bitno kako nas ljudi vide, onda pronađemo ljude koji nas doista vide i razumiju. Život je takav! Teško je othrvati se toj potrebi za prilagođavanjem drugima jer se zapravo radi o jednom kompleksnom evolucijskom mehanizmu, pa smo svi zapravo na neki način psihološki prilagođeni pokušaju uklapanja u društvo. Dosta sam razmišljala na ovu temu, Joyce je rekao nešto u stilu da je društvo mreža iz koje nitko ne bježi, ali uvijek postoji način ako imam volje.

    Na kraju krajeva, ne trebamo se ničega bojati. Nismo nikakvi sociopati ako mislimo svojom glavom i nećemo nikoga zaista povrijediti izabiranjem bivanja onoga što bi trebali biti.

    Kombinacija mi se strašno sviđa, pogotovo taj prsluk…pravi boho chic!

  • Reply Mischelle April 25, 2016 at 6:31 PM

    Your outfit is magazine worthy! Love it 🙂

    Mischelle
    https://www.nowthatschic.com

  • Reply Roxanne April 25, 2016 at 7:02 PM

    Great post! Love your outfit, especially the blouse & bag! -xo

    https://rxyroads.weebly.com/blog/montauroux-lac-du-saint-cassien

  • Reply Nati April 25, 2016 at 7:02 PM

    Love everything you wrote here. It’s so important to just be yourself to be truly happy ☺
    Nati xx
    http://www.simplyartdicted.com

  • Reply Jennifer Rand April 25, 2016 at 7:38 PM

    Um, I don’t know what I’m loving more — that awesome vest, that gorgeous bag, or those rad shoes!

    Fab look!

    xx
    Jen
    https://www.belledecouture.com/2016/04/2-easy-summer-hairstyles-with-garnier.html

  • Reply Agnes April 25, 2016 at 7:55 PM

    Cute outfit! Love the vest 🙂

    Agnes x

    BlvckBee.Com

  • Reply Charlotte April 25, 2016 at 8:05 PM

    Always better to be you. Glad you found that out. Have a great day!

  • Reply Kristina April 25, 2016 at 8:07 PM

    Jako mi se dopada što imas minimalno šminke na licu! Preslatka si i svaka čast na posvećenosti blogu i dobrom tekstu! :*

    https://ourfashionworlds.blogspot.rs/

  • Reply Ana April 25, 2016 at 8:25 PM

    You look so chic and sophisticated! Very refreshing!!

    https://lartoffashion.com

  • Reply Dadie Bradshaw April 25, 2016 at 8:50 PM

    I love this look.

    DadieB. ~
    dadiebradshaw.altervista.org

  • Reply Jenessa Sheffield April 25, 2016 at 8:55 PM

    those shoes and that bag are fabulous!!
    XO JNESS
    : JenessaSheffield.com

  • Reply Vale April 25, 2016 at 11:37 PM

    You are wonderful, inspiring, adorable the way you are, Natali…I only know you from the internet but I have the feeling you are very sensitive and deep and also the kind of person I’d love to get to know better, cause she has so many interesting thoughts and also a past that made her who she is now ! I am glad you are going ahead in your journey that leads to personal happiness, I have also always tried to fit in and never fully succeeded…I am now proud of my differences and I no longer try as hard to be accepted. Kisses

    Fashion and Cookies – fashion & beauty blog

  • Reply Vale April 25, 2016 at 11:38 PM

    PS I almost forgot: you look so beautiful in this look, it has a touch of ethnic chic hasn’t it ? The vest is awesome and so are the mules. You are a beautiful princess 🙂

    Fashion and Cookies – fashion & beauty blog

  • Reply Toks April 25, 2016 at 11:39 PM

    This is sooo true. I think that at some time we all try to fit in with what people expect of us but we should really be ourselves much more, although diplomacy is a great thing too. Great post and great outfit. xoxoxo

    https://www.toksblog.com/

  • Reply bernadeth April 26, 2016 at 12:47 PM

    Great post, you have a very nice blog! 😀

    Visit my blog? xx Miss Beatrix (https://missbeatrix.blogspot.com)

  • Reply Ivana April 26, 2016 at 2:06 PM

    Vidiš, po komentarima se može “isčitati” da uistinu možeš i znaš inspirirati ljude na pravi način. Bravo! Bravo za post i bravo za tvoje veliko postignuće. Mislim da je malo onih koji nikada nisu bili u tvojim cipelama i da , barem u jednoj fazi naših života, poželimo biti netko dugi i ići protiv sebe. Ne znam od kuda nam ta tendencija ali da je dobra, nije. U zadnjih par godina, i sama sam okrenula novi i svjei list i nije me briga (toliko) što će tko reći i misliti pogotovo o stvarno banalnimstvarima poput odjeće i slično… Stvar je u tome što ja stvarno volim različitost kod ljudi… veseli me razgovarati (ne svađati se već razgovarati) s osobom koja je npr. sasvim svjetonazorski drugačija od mene… mislim da se samo na taj način možemo obogatiti na pravi način i biti sretni! Stoga, samo naprijed!

    Kombica je prekrasna… taj prsluk i cipke koje su mi ko’ klompice… ma nešto prekrasno! Uživala sam i sve mi žao što nema koja fotka više! 🙂

  • Reply JLu April 26, 2016 at 4:40 PM

    Girl, honestly, you are so gorgeous!

  • Reply Taylor April 26, 2016 at 6:19 PM

    This look is absolutely PERFECT!
    XO.
    http://www.itswhatsin.com

  • Reply Memories of the Pacific April 26, 2016 at 8:22 PM

    Great advice and pretty outfit!

    https://memoriesofthepacific.blogspot.com.es/

  • Reply Shoesmaniac April 27, 2016 at 8:57 AM

    absolutely great bag 🙂
    vzkaz mému mladšímu já

  • Reply rakhshanda April 27, 2016 at 9:31 AM

    You look beautiful!! Love this outfit & the red lip color goes well with it! Wish I owned that bag <3

    Kisses!

    International giveaway on my blog-
    https://www.rakhshanda-chamberofbeauty.com

  • Reply CHRISTINA KEY April 27, 2016 at 9:46 AM

    Beautiful look! 🙂
    I love your great vest a lot! ♥♥♥

    XX,
    Photography & Fashion Blog

    CHRISTINA KEY
    http://www.CHRISTINAKEY.com

  • Reply Berto April 27, 2016 at 9:57 PM

    ¡Me encanta el outfit que has elegido! El efecto de las fotos es ideal. ¡Un post muy chic!
    ¡Échale un vistazo a mi blog!
    https://kingzlewhitehall.wordpress.com

  • Reply Angie Wilson April 27, 2016 at 10:06 PM

    I love your mini celine!

    xx Angie | https://www.thefashionfuse.com/

  • Reply Barbara April 27, 2016 at 10:21 PM

    So beautiful, love the look, very boho. Really like the photos 🙂

    https://banging.pt

  • Reply Anna April 28, 2016 at 4:20 AM

    Sooo Pretty:)
    _________________________________
    Kisses from https://www.ivoryinspo.com/

  • Reply Serein May 2, 2016 at 6:16 AM

    You look so cute!! This post is perfect!

    Xoxo
    Serein
    https://sereinwu.com/

  • Reply Sophie May 3, 2016 at 5:59 PM

    This style is so cute, love the aztec coat so much <3

    xoxo, Best Bags 2016

  • Reply Sheela Goh May 17, 2016 at 12:05 AM

    Real is rare, Natali, stay true to you.

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