Turning 30 just dawned on me… It came from around the corner and caught me completely by the surprise. Everything I’ve been reading for years regarding life, fashion, beauty, self-care, whatever was focused on 20s and just now I’m realising that in 3 days from now, I’ll turn 30 and I’m about to enter a whole new decade of my life.
Turning 30 never bothered me and I never though about it too much, but this past month it’s been weighing on my mind more often than I’d like it to. I don’t know why I’m suddenly feeling so intimidated by a certain date and number. Might be the fact that wrinkles around my eyes and smiling lines are showing more than they used to… Maybe the fact that my “accomplishments” list by age 30 isn’t completely ticked off.. Maybe the fact that by this age I have somehow planned to do much more or the thought of mortality and vulnerability didn’t bother me as much before as it does now is the reason why I’m feeling down about my big 3-0 birthday?!
I have already to some extent mentioned on my blog that I’ve been suffering some health issues for the past 2 years and it have been hard to try to find the cure while still trying to live my daily life as normal as possible. On top of that, only a week ago I was in a car crush and have faced death so closely and strong for the first time in my life. That spooked the *hit out of me… Just one little blink of an eye and bam, I could have been erased from this planet… completely unprepared, completely unaccomplished… There’re still so many places I’d love to travel to, so many things I’d like to experience, so many feelings I’d like to feel over and over again, so many smiles I’d like to share and give…
That moment was so scary and it was SO close to being lethal but I’m happy that I have ended up only with the sore neck and bruised ribs which are still causing me rib cage pains but it’s getting better. I believe that this was the moment which made me so scared of 30s, the thought of not being so young anymore and wonderings if I have time for everything I still want to do, see and feel… Life is fragile and so precious but we ( me 1st ) take it for granted. How many days or weeks have slipped by without you even realising it?
How much time and effort do we all put into such silly and not important things while we forget to take a step forward each day towards meeting our dreams and fulfilling our wishes?
My thoughts on turning 30 are that while some things, like physical changes are inevitable, some other things are completely under our control. Life is what we make of it and 30s should be the perfect decade to put that self-accomplishment into motion. We’re more smarter, bolder, kinder and self-confident in our 30s than we could have ever been in our 20s. We see and understand more and are able to learn quicker from our mistakes.
Our 20s is the decade of hits and misses, time to make mistakes and try to figure out our personalities, wishes, needs, etc. 2os are perfect decade to screw up and fix up leading into becoming a great ground to take onto 30s and have the best 10 years of our lives by far. So dear Natali and everybody else who’s still reading this post… Don’t be afraid of the number or some wrinkles but be “afraid” of missing out on life, not being unapologetically yourself and only living life which you WANT to be living every moment of your day.
Turning 30 can be magical and a whole new decade to do everything “right”… But don’t waste your time dwelling too much, you are only promised today, tomorrow is a long way away so you might not have time to do everything you’ve been postponing for so long “because you’re still so young and have whole life to go through your wish list”. What if you don’t? What would you do differently?