Body analysis… When does it start? When do we, women start to analyze our bodies? When do we start to feel insecure and start comparing ourselves to other women?
My daughter is 7 and I have for the first time seen and heard her being body conscious. It’s nothing comparing to how I know that us women can be picking ourselves apart and “sync” every inch of our body in front of the mirror, but yet, it was something that has touched me deeply. Does it all start that early?
I remember looking up to my mom, seeing her as a flawless, beautiful woman with a face more stunning and special than any Hollywood actress’ ever. Once, I was just flipping through her photo album from around when she was teen to her years at college all the way up to after she gave birth to me and I remember thinking that I will never be as beautiful as her.
This made me think that most possibly, that’s how my daughter thinks about me and that is definitely NOT how I feel about myself. My self confidence used to be much worser before but to be honest, right now, it’s not that good either… If I want to change almost everything about my appearance which is perfect and unique as it is… What kind of example am I giving to my daughter? Is she going to feel and look at herself in the same way at some point in the future? Is she also going to think that her looks are what makes her more or less important? More or less wanted and appreciated?
We live in such times in which we can’t escape images and stories about “perfect bodies”, “get into shape”, “strong is new skinny” and such… I wonder, when did these titles became so important and came before any images or stories about “confident, smart and successful” women? When did having brains or big heart became less important? When did the body analyzing became that big of a deal that it even gives you a status or likes in the company of known as well as the unknown persons? Why is somebody with a certain image/ looks going to be more favorable or important than somebody who’s not meeting those standards?
When did the scale became the judge of who’s worth more, what’s more beautiful and what’s not?
Those are just some thoughts and questions that I had circling around and I had to share with you and ask you for your opinion on this subject. Please do comment…
72 Comments
Ja sam sebe počela prihvaćati tek tijekom fakulteta(a sada imam 27). Tek sam tada prihvatila svoje pjegice (za koje su mi uvijek govorili da su baš simpatične) i činjenicu da ne mogu bez naočala. Imala sam sreće pa mi se u djetinjstvu nikad nitko nije rugao zbog naočala, no na mene su svakako ostavile dubok trag. Upravo zbog njih nisam nikada voljela izlaziti jer sam osjećala da svi “bulje” u mene, a i uvijek mi je bilo grozno fotografirati se s načalama jer nisam nikada ispala onako kako sam s zamislila.
Osim toga, retuširani modeli koji vrište sa svake stranice bilo kojeg ženskog časopisa pridonijeli su tome da žene misle da jednostavno nisu dovoljno dobre ako nemaju mjere 90-60-90 i ako im lice nije savršeno, bez ijedne pjegice i bez ijednog prištića. Danas se po tom pitanju osjećam mnogo bolje, ali zaista mi je trebalo jako dugo da bih došla do toga.
Draga Tatjana, apsolutno te shvacam i pronalazim samu sebe u ovim rijecima. Imala sam slicne “patnje” i dosta dugo mi je trebalo da prihvatim neke svoje “nesavrsenosti” da bih se mogla vidjeti za ono sto usitinu jesam. Jos imam dosta toga za prihvatiti… Neke dane se vidim na lijepsi nacin, neke dane sam si sva “blaaah” ali je sve to sitnica prema onome kako sam samu sebe prije totalno iskrivljeno vidjela i kako sam se prije neugodno osijecala u svojoj kozi.
I think the most important thing you can give your girl is self confidence. Without that a persone has to struggle much harder as you know! Learn your kids that they should be their own selves and to do what they want even if it means that they dont walk in line. But I am not a parrent, so it is easy talking for me.
Thank you Nancy for this comment, you’re absolutely right! They look up to us and they’re like little sponges.
It’s tough being a parent, but it’s also the most beautiful “responsibility” and gift one can have in their lives.
Prije svega… svaka ti cast na ovome tekstu. Ovakve bi teme po meni trebale biti puno vise zastupljene u medijima… pogotovo u teen varijantama istih… od programa, emisija ili casopisa… bilo bi puno zdravije nego serviranje “kako ga osvojiti”, “kako ga oteti najboljoj frendici” ili “kako se obuci poput Miley ili Taylor” petnaestogodisnjim curicama! I onda bude nevjerica i sok kada djeca krenu prebrzo odrasti i prozive “zivot” do 20-e ukoliko uopce i dodju do te dobi zdravoga uma. :/
Ja sam jako dugo bila kriticna prema sebi. Iako sam kao mrsavica bila neki standard u mojoj osnovnoj, u srednjoj su neke obline bile “pozeljnije” pa se nisam ludo uklapala… ipak,,moram biti iskrena, stvarno nikada nisam bila izvrgnuta nikakvom ruglu ili necem slicnom. Probleni su vecinom bili u mojoj glavi i tu bi ja secirala sebe od glave do pete. Nista se meni nije svidjalo i sve mi je bilo ruzno…
Tek s (plus/minus) 30 sam se prihvatila onakvom kakva jesam i ne bi se mijenjala ni za sto…
Da ironija bude veca… nedavno sam pocela dobivati glupe komentare da sam premrsava… kazem glupe jer nisu receni na adekvatan nacin vec npr. “Jer imate dijagnosticiranu anoreksiju?” I to od doktora!!! Ne stari, imam dvoje djece, radim, cistim, peglam, perem, kuham, VJEZBAM, nema gdje me nema… probaj i ti! Zao mi je sto mu to nisam rekla u lice, ali jbg.-odgoj je zafrkana stvar! :p
Prije nekih 5mj sam pocela vjezbati da se zdebljam… da, tocno to… i kada god to kazem, 8 od 10 ljudi ce me pogledati u cudu. Ne razumiju da je misicna masa jedini nacin da ja dobijem koji gram… i opet dobijem komentare- ma jesi ti normalna, tako si mrsava, sta jos vjezbas??? Nebitno! Vjezbam radi sebe. Jer ja zelim i jer volim i jer mi je vjezbanje ispusni ventil i jer sam se zdebljala kilu i ju-hu! 🙂 Kako kazu u kraju moga muza- odpepajte! 🙂
Hoce li ti biti lako kao majci djevojcice, nece! Od kuda krenuti? Od sebe! Zapovijedam! Sto prije nauci voljeti sebe i prihvatiti sebe onakvom kakva jesi. Najljepsa si. Dijete ce na taj nacin gledati i sebe. Ponavljaj joj svaki dan da ljepota lezi u ocima promatraca ali da je najbitniji promatrac-ona sama! 🙂 sretno!
Incredible post and photos!
xoxo
https://www.blogbaobab.com/travels/dubai-vol-vi/
Thank you very much! 🙂
Really nice and interesting post, and very pretty pics!! kiss
Federica – Cosa Mi Metto???
Thank you Federica, I appreciate your comment!
your blog is amazing <3 chic!!!
The Photoholic Girl by Michela M.
Thank you Michela!
Hi dear! i think that the best thing you can do with your daughter is make her feel beautiful in every shape she will be. The worst thing for me was growing in a family where body image was so important, more than any other thing. I heard my dad always talking about losing weight and be skinny and super fit, compare every woman he saw in television and criticize their body.. i was a little puffy girl and in my family this was a bad thing, because i wasn’t the way they want me to be, i wasn’t perfect. So, after some bad years ( now i’m 21) i realized how this influenced the way i see my body and myself and how i think others see me. Just let passing a message of serenity with body image and with food. I hope you appreciate my tips, they’re just my experience 😉
Thank you for opening up and writing this comment! I’m glad to read that you’ve overcome your “limitations” and do see yourself for how you truly are.
Words and actions that our parents speak or do while we’re little kids can def. affect a lot on how we think or do things in our adulthood. It’s up to us to realize that the reality is different and that everybody is entitled to their opinion, but that doesn’t mean that they’re right or know what they’re talking about. It’s just the “picture” that they have created about something or somebody.
You’re a wonderful person Natali, i’m sure you’ll be a perfect example for your daughter! xoxo
Such an amazing message! These pictures are just stunning!
<3 Shannon
Upbeat Soles
Thank you Shanon, I appreciate your words.
Truth is tough to stomach, so you deleted my comment? Pity, since that was the most honest comment in the sea of asskissing that seems to be the only thing you allow on your blog. Why did you even write about such a personal topic if you don’t want honest comments? Are you just looking for compliments? I was trying to give you some good advice, but you seem to refuse it.. online and in real life.
I have deleted your previous comment because you have totally misread or didn’t understand what I meant to say with this post. I didn’t say that I see my body as perfect, I said that it’s perfect in all of it’s imperfection and that even though I ain’t that self confident woman that I’d like to be, I have accepted the fact that there’s no such thing as perfection in life as well as in the looks because we’re all perfect and unique as we are.
I have also decided to post THESE DARK photos as you’ve mentioned because I wanted to, because it’s my right and because I thought that they look more artsy and moody. I wanted something different than what I usually photograph for this blog.
Once again, the beauty is in the eye of beholder and if you can’t see it here or in me, please stop coming over here as well as in real life too.
My point in the comment you deleted was that it isn’t all about how you see your body, but also how your daughter sees you and your lifestyle choices. I didn’t misread this, but i did apply more knowledge about you in my analysis than you chose to write. The pictures gave you away though, they are artsy but also very sad and depicting the opposite of the cheerful, happy sunshine that you normally depict. Nevertheless i hope my point got through to you and that you will consider my advice.
And don’t worry, in real life you managed to push me away already, along with others who knew you well. But thanks for kicking me off your ego playground online too.
you just sound so mean and frustrated… poor you. You don’t even have the guts of putting your name above your super comments and that says a lot.
Toxic and envious people like you don’t deserve attention so no wonder Natali decided to delete your rude comment and kick you off her life.
If this blog isn’t at your taste, you better go spread your poison elsewhere… but it’s kind of easy to come on her blog to says mean things to her.
She’s a nice, open and polite person who doesn’t deserve this.
Such beautiful and heartfelt words. This is such a difficult thing with girls in today’s day and age. It’s crazy to think how this is a very rare issue when it comes to boys, but with girls, it’s almost all we ever think about. I know you probably tell your daughter how beautiful she is, all the time, and I’m sure she loves to hear that. That is what will help her grow up to love herself, as much as you love her <3
BlondieInTheCity.com
Thank you so much Hayley! You’re sweet and kind! I do tell my daughter all the time of how beautiful, special and important she is as to me, so to her larger family/ relatives and her friends too. I hope that those words will leave a positive and loving trace on her and make her more sure and confident of herself as she’s growing up. I never had that and I believe that a lot of my insecurities come from there…
First of all, amazing pictures and great text. <3 My little niece is 7 years old and since she is going to school, she often speaks about her body shape, the length of her hair or her weight. And she is comparing herself with other schoolmates. It is really sad to notice that she believes she is just beautiful when her hair is longer than others or her tummy is flat. My sister always tells her she is pretty and precious no matter what hair or body shape she has. But the pressure of other kids is immense. It is really sad and it seems nothing really helps. We just try to teach her that every single person is special just the way it is and everyone is lovely.
That was my point Julia and thank you for sharing this story with me/ us! Ever since the day she was born, my daughter has been the center of my universe, I have only had loving words for her, always told her how smart and beautiful she is… But there are some things that I can’t do much about and that is the influence that she gets from kindergarten, school, friends… I can always remind her of the way how I see her, but the society is such that no matter how much we try to protect our kids from certain things, they will creep in anyway from somewhere and they will see and hear some things that we’d rather not have them hear/ see.
These pictures are beautiful… People can be judgemental and bitter. Art is NEVER defined as ego.. Art is expression and there is beauty in darkness and in light. I find that the most beautiful parts of me came from walking in darkness. We often never recognize the light if we are not in the dark. I think your pictures are taw, and moving. There’s always a critic, that really owns the ego problem, no matter how great you are..
Stars are never noticed in the light. ????
Oh my… These words!!! Every single one of them is just so true and uplifting!! Thank you SO much! We are thinking and feeling the same.
There’s never light or true happiness unless you’ve seen the darkness and have experience the sadness. I can not please everybody or be favorable
by everybody, but that’s alright because I didn’t started this blog or have put myself out here for that. If I can inspire even ONE single person, if I can give love and compassion to even ONE single person, if I can put a smile on even ONE single person’s face… That means everything and I ain’t wasting this internet space “for nothing”.
Really beautiful pics! Thanks for sharing and keep up the good work.
xoxo
Mercedes Marie
http://www.beyondherreality.com
Thank you Mercedes very much!
I never liked what my body looked like ! The first time I was self conscious of my body is when I went shopping and the women told me “this is the wrong place for you, you can go to another store, for bigger girls” she said it with such a disgusted voice that I started thinking “oh I don’t want to be the one who goes to the big girls store” specially because people around us started laughing. I started blaming every failure that I had on my weight “you failed this exam because you’re fat” “you don’t have a boyfriend because you’re fat” ! I’m so glad I’m no longer that person ! I learn to love myself everyday and If I’m changing anything it’s because of my own well’being. Thanks for this article !
https://veilbymaryam.com/
I grew up being told how beautiful I was and while I still have body issues sometimes, having my daughter really help to put into perspective how amazing my body is. I am now pregnant with my second and just as amazed at how a woman’s body can create a baby. With my daughter I am going to tell her how beautiful and perfect her body is and teach her what a gift it is from our Heavenly Father. 🙂
Rachel
Simply Rachel Nicole
Thank you Rachel for stopping by and commenting! You’re doing an amazing job as a mom and a “life teacher”. 🙂
Dearest Natali, I think these pictures are perfect with the subject of this post. It is natural to be worried when you have a child, most of all since you have a daughter, worried that she might feel too insecure or get too conscious about her appearance. We’ve all been there – my teenage years were the worst, honestly when I was a child I was even a bit chubby but didn’t mind it much, but when I grew up I started thinking I would be happy only if I was really thin, and went for it with all myself. I am a grown up woman now and yet I have issues with my body, I try to eat healthy and when I don’t – and I often don’t do it – I have that unpleasant sensation of guilt, still, how is that possible ?. I think you are doing a great job with your daughter in giving her your love and in teaching her to be confident thru your love. Moreover, you are such a creative, artistic person and you surely have many ways to “talk” to her about everything. Communication is key, I think. Well, sorry if my post was confused, I wanted to tell you so many things but I suppose I should go to sleep now, LOL. Many kisses my beautiful, sweet princess.
Fashion and Cookies – fashion blog
This is such a controversial subject these days. Basically the question of the thinner you are, the more perfect your body is comes from our wonderful new designers, who really only want a walking hanger to show their clothes on the runways. It has come to a point where you can’t be thin enough for the modelling agencies who have pushed so many young girls into serious illnesses. We are all made in a different way and we should all try to love ourselves just the way we are. I also am very critical about my body and I try to eat healthy and work out which keeps me in good shape and, hopefully, good health, physically and mentally. Beauty is (and always has been) in the eye of the beholder. Great post and lovely photos. xoxoxo
Thank you so much!!! Your comment makes sense and is very true too! I do workout, eat healthy, but
sometimes it’s just not enough to feel good and some “stupid” things can put you off and make you feel less pretty or whatnot. It’s tough to live in the world where you’re supposed to look like JLo or Gwen Stefani when it’s not possible and realistic either. Being natural and just the way you are is what will set you apart and make you realize that people love you for you and not for you being a copy or a made up version of somebody else.
A very difficult topic I believe. The internet and TV makes us think that other people are far more beautiful than we are and it makes us doubt ourselves. Loved your approach on this!
xx
Marietta
http://www.theurbanslang.com
Yes, very difficult and delicate one! I’m glad that you’ve liked my approach on this, esp. since english is not my mother tongue and sometimes it’s hard to say well what I meant to .
Estás guapísima, me encantan las fotos!! https://bohoclosetblog.com/2016/02/10/jersey-multiposicion-y-pantalon-culotte/
Muchas gracias!!
Such important and powerful thoughts. Now more than ever women’s bodies are looked at and compared negatively. I think we all have our own issues, and it is so important to love and build one another up. We are all beautiful and have so much to offer beyond appearance. I imagine it will be hard to live this out in front of a daughter one day since I have my own issues. Like you, I want her to know she is loved just as she is though.
Amy Ann
Straight A Style
I couldn’t agree more Amy and thank you so much for taking a moment and leaving this comment, I appreciate it so much!
I’m all about “girl power” and building one another up, that can totally change one woman’s day and certain way how she
feels about herself, etc.
Lovely photos 🙂
NEW POST! : THE COLORFUL THOUGHTS
Thank you Nada!
Thanks for sharing such a thoughtful post! Nice photos 🙂
xoxo
https://www.myinfinitystyle.com
Thank you for commenting! 🙂
I can’t remember when I started comparing my body to others. I know that I am in a constant battle with myself and my body. My goal is to maintain peace and balance. With those two things I feel at peace with myself.
http://www.lesleyandeve.com
I understand you 100%! I’m at much better place than where I used to be about my own self-confidence and body image, but still have a
long way to go to be where I want to be at, accepting and loving myself at all times.
I hope that you’ll reach that same level too and be at peace with yourself. :*
This is such an interesting topic and one that definitely needs to be addressed more often. I agree that there are such hard standards on women for beauty and they are so unrealistic. I’m expecting a baby girl at the moment and want to make sure I set realistic and well-grounded standards for her. It’s a tough one when the media and popular culture is obsessed with this certain body type and people idolize the Kardashians and they are promoting waist cinching belts and all other sorts of ridiculous things. Gah. What a world to be brought up in.
Thanks for bringing up this topic.
xx
https://thestylecrusader.com
Thank you so much for reading and leaving such a great comment!
I couldn’t agree more with you… We are the ones that very often don’t feel good about ourselves and
our looks exactly thanks to the kind of society and world that we’re living in where there’s so much pressure
to look/ be/ dress a certain way if we want to be “accepted” or feel more confident… I do my best to set my
daughter “straight” and tell her how beautiful and special she is, but there’s only so much that I can do as a parent.
This is a beautiful post, self worth and confidence is such an important thing
Filipa xxx
PlayingWithApparel.com | Instagram
I agree! Thank you Filipa for stopping by and commenting.
nice pics! xx
Thank you! 🙂
As someone who grew up in a very supportive family, all I can say is keep telling your daughter how beautiful she is. Even if it comes from your parents, it really does help to make you feel better about yourself when your that age!
Mary Kate
http://www.mynewchicagolife.com
It absolutely does help a lot! I never had somebody tell me those things while growing up and I can see how lack of that
gave me/ created the wrong picture about myself.
We all are beautiful in our personal way, I believe in it!
Thank you very much for commenting! I agree with you and it took me a long time to come to terms with this.
There’s no one specific, perfect beauty pattern to look up to and follow… But we have to find our own beauty and
see the beauty in every individual.
Beautiful pictures!
https://bellemelange.net/blog/
Thank you very much!
Beautiful!! Hope you’ll stop by my blog for the latest post!
Love, Olia
Thank you very much Olia! I loved visiting your blog. 🙂
Hey that’s cool! I love these pics
Alice Cerea,
Alice Cerea blogger
This is amazing timing as I was just thinking and wondering how I could be a better example to my nieces about how they should view their body in a healthy way! I wonder when I started noticing mine and wonder if that is when I became a little unhappier because suddenly I was aware of my flaws.
The Adored Life
Studies have shown anorexic women looked at the maternal model.
You are very beautiful. A perfect bone structure of the nose etc. But you should compare your muscle mass with that of other women. Being too thin puts strain on everything, including life expectancy, bone health and cardiac arrest.
Lastly, what does it matter. Dust we are.
This is such an important issue and I’m glad there are people like you who think this way! And not just think, but also practically showing our next generation how to treat themselves better. I’ve struggled with body image too and probably will in the future. But I don’t want others around me to suffer like myself. I want to show a way to appreciate ourselves.
Some coffee overdose talk, but I think you got my point :”)
Have a nice Valentine’s day!
We measure bodies because of sexual selection. It seeks bodies that can bear off spring. Too fat or too thin are less able to carry viable ones.
Stunning photos and interesting point of view <3
xoxo, Lastestbag – Best Bags 2016
I am not a regular reader of your blog. I stumbled upon it today via Instagram. This post intrigued me because of the hashtags like body image. But I am really surprised. I had a look at some of your outfit posts and you look incredibly thin. I don’t mean to be rude, but it looks unhealthily thin. It’s not my problem and you may have addressed this in a previous post, but it struck me as weird that you would write such a seemingly candid, heartfelt and truthful article without talking about it. Which made me question the authenticity of the post. I mean, I understand that it may be a painful topic for you, but why bother writing something on this subject if you are not addressing the elephant in the room. I do like your style, but there’s enough bloggers like the Blonde Salad painting the picture of a happy fairytale world without connection to the reality of life. But you are talking about understanding the balance of dark & light in life – yet firmly only share the filtered sunlight version of it. I wish you all the best
Very true and well written.
xx Falasha
Bite My Fashion ll Instagram ll Bloglovin’
I love the realness of this post lovely, women’s bodies are scrutinised so much in the media. As long as we’re happy and healthy, that is all that should matter.
Elizabeth Daisy xo
Elizabeth-Daisy.com
I love your blog, keep up good work x
Yukova BLog
I read this article completely regarding the difference of latest and preceding technologies,
it’s awesome article.
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