When I’m gone

Some years ago, I had this internal fight with myself that I have to do everything perfectly, that I need to be perfect and that only when these two are “all perfect”, I’ll get to where I want to be in life and I’ll get what I want from life… NOT!

First of all, there’s no such thing as perfection since I’m not a god, I’m just a human with tons of flaws. My flaws will be a great match to some other people’s flaws and they’ll see them as something fun, interesting and nothing near bad or disturbing. My flaws will also be of annoyance to others and since I can’t and am “too old” to want to anymore people please or try to blend in to perfectly do or fit in somewhere, I’ll rather call it a day and concentrate to get the best of my flaws and share it with people who love me for me.

I have slowly started to figure out that no matter how driven I am, how much work and creating excites me, there is something else that completely rules my world and it brings me so much fulfilment than I could ever hope for.

I’ve come to conclusion that even if I’m never going to be the best entrepreneur, the best photographer, the best at singing or dancing, the best at XY, you name it, I will forever have my heart and soul – the two tools which I’ll always be “the best” at because of the way how I play their tunes to people which are surrounding me. Even if I fail at everything or being a “remarkable” person, I will know for sure, that once I’m gone, I can go in peace knowing that I have always loved unconditionally, I have always given without expecting anything in return, I have always listened even when it was hard to find any peace in my own loud mess of thoughts, I have always had a shoulder to cry on and “bed to spare” when my closest people needed one.

I always knew that I want to leave a big and remarkable mark during my lifetime which will be long remembered after my time on this planet is finished and while some years ago, perfectionist me thought that it would be thanks to my work or something phyisical like an object, now I know that the way how I’ve made people feel during my lifetime is what will be my biggest ordeal and something “invisible” that I can’t show off with such as diploma or pay check, but it will be still so visible in how I’ve made difference in others people’s lives by making them smile, making them feel accepted for who they are and by doing small acts of kindness which have made their days better…

Yes, I will still always do my best to give 100% at my work and will always want to improve myself and learn more about pretty much anything in life, but I can be at peace now that I have found out my true purpose and “task” to why I’m on this planet and what will matter once I’m gone.

Happy Monday everybody!

My outfit: Boots & bag ( HERE & HERE ), Coat ( HERE ), Sunglasses ( HERE ), Scarf ( HERE ), Shirt ( HERE )